I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
