Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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