doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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