So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
