We named our party play list daddy issues
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
