I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
