Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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