Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
