I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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