drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
