Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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