I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
This is the high leading the old right now
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
