Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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