Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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