Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
