Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
