please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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