In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
