just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
