I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
