I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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