He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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