Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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