Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
