its not stalking. its research.
I've blown a few things in my day
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
