may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
