I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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