Grow some girl-balls and come out already
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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