Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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