if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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