She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
