If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
