I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The best revenge is premature balding
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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