obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
