I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i out mim tonsoeep
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