I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
