well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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