God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
