Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is Oprah even human
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
