its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
