He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
