I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
