I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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