people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Boobs speak an international language.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
