Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
