Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
