well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
