I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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