the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
