You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
