So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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