We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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