i always forget guys have bellybuttons
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
