i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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