She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
